The Five Reasons Why You Need To Continue To Put Yourself First After Your Become A First Time Mom
You all know “those” types of moms. After they become a mom, that is all they talk about. Their life revolves around being a mom(not that there is anything wrong with that).
There is a concern for some women though. Once she has the baby, she abandons everything from her old life and takes on her new role as a mother.
I have seen some women focus on nothing but being a mom. Once the child is old enough to live their life, she forgest how to pick up the threads of her old life, including her romantic interests and taking care of herself.
That does not have to happen. You can choose to put yourself first while being a parent. That can be scary for some women( when you take into consideration how they were raised). It can be done.
I have five reasons for new moms on why it is important to not lose yourself just because you are now a mom.
1)You are More Than Just What People See On The Surface
You have other identities aside from being a mom. You are a friend, a lover for your partner, a hard worker at your job, etc. You cannot forget those aspects just because you are now a mother.
You have to spend a little bit of time every day focusing on the other aspects of your personality. Otherwise, you could start some tensions within the household or at work. Your partner could start to get anxious because you have abandoned your time with them.
There could be some hidden resentments that start to simmer during the next several years.
2)Taking Care Of Yourself
You are not going to be able to take care of someone else if you cannot take care of yourself. Having some “me” time is not a selfish thing at all. It is necessary to be a better mom and a better partner.
3)Try To Remain Sane
Sanity is not overrated, it is very underrated. Think about that for a second or two. Those who start to go insane begin to imagine things that are not happening. It is like living a highly scheduled day on too little sleep.
The martyr routine is overdone. No good is going to come from you being completely selfless. A lot of people say that being a mom is a thankless job. You know what? They are right. It is a thankless job. You better get used to that now.
Spending your days looking for a “thank you” from your kids is not going to happen. They are too preoccupied with themselves. That is why putting yourself first every so often is not a bad thing. It is a necessary thing.
No woman ( or man) ever grows up thinking, “I want to clean up vomit and change diapers for the rest of my life”. You still have dreams, and there is no reason why you cannot go after them. It just might mean waiting until your child is older to start pursuing things. That does not mean you put away the memo pad and stop living.
Keep a journal of things you still want to do, either by yourself or with your partner. A new baby is not going to change that.
Your partner needs you. They need you to still be the same person you always were. Remember those crazy weekends that the two of you spent in a sexual frenzy? Your partner is still going to want that side of you(the sexually adventurous side). A new baby should not stop that from happening.
That is part of putting yourself first.
One Final Note
As I mentioned above, your child is going to grow and move on with their life. Your partner is still going to be there. The more you work on your relationship with your partner now(while your baby is growing up) the stronger your bond will be when it is just the two of you( as you enter into the next phase of your life).
Babies come into this world, grow, and then leave the nest. The relationship you have with yourself( and your partner) is the one that lasts forever.